Changing my habitual feelings is a big job. First, I have to acknowledge thoughts that I wish I didn’t have and look at the genesis in an attempt to stave off a repeat. Then I have to actively think of the situation or individuals as included in God’s perfect creation with me. I give this focused attention nearly every day, but I still need lots of practice. Although it doesn’t seem to get much better, I know it is improving, however slowly, because I’m honestly engaged in working on it. Energy and time spent on my spiritual growth is never wasted.
One day, instead of experiencing the usual disappointment and frustration of noticing my perpetual, negative thoughts have once again surfaced, I’ll realize that they are less frequent than they once were and not as aggressively dominant. I imagine they already are incrementally improved. They can’t help but be as I am diligent in my practice. It isn’t a pipe dream. It always happens as it is best for my growth.