by admin | Dec 26, 2019 | Lifted Prayers
Sometimes my head will continue a disagreement, particularly with leadership in my job, when I know I must keep my mouth shut. It doesn’t matter how demeaning their actions are, how ridiculous the questions they ask me, how wasteful the projects I’m told to do. It would only cause me harm to dissent.
So I say nothing. BUT, I maintain an active fantasy about one or another of them getting their comeuppance or of actually saying the snarky things that I think. It is a fruitless pursuit of justice, and it serves only to agitate me. Calming my anxiety drains my energy.
Would I rather be right or be happy? Oh, an easy choice on the surface–much rather be happy. What would that look like in my job? If I embraced the hurtful remarks, unjust criticism, and ineptitude and accepted the way things are, I could experience serenity. I know that. Why the hell can’t I do that??
Why do I allow people I do not respect to keep me from experiencing the peace and joy I long for? I give them power over my happiness when I fail to remember that my worth has nothing to do with them or my job.
God, help me to see them as you see them. Help me to love them as your children, acknowledge that they are doing the best that they can and have empathy for their suffering.
by admin | Jun 18, 2019 | Lifted Prayers
I’ve worked diligently to find loving acceptance in my heart for the boss who continues to harm me, knowing that I am not the source of her insecurities and fears. I am someone she can kick around because she is the boss. It may not give her any particular pleasure to bully me, but it keeps her illusion of control alive and tormenting thoughts of inadequacy at bay.
For years I have repeatedly prayed that she experience God’s grace, that she be happy and at peace, that she be free of fear. I have seen marvelous transformation in my perception and attitude towards others I’ve resented, so I know that commitment to prayerful thoughts of this nature works in due course. I feel genuine sympathy for her unhappiness, but my need for her to acknowledge my worth remains forefront. I don’t expect her to change, and my ego stands in the way of being fully willing to love her as a fellow human being. Still, I remember that it takes a long time to change the course of an ocean liner. I have only been aware for a few months of my ego’s detrimental effect on my ability to develop loving-kindness towards her. The ship could well be righting itself. I hope so–my equilibrium is off.
by admin | Apr 8, 2019 | Lifted Prayers
Aesthetically pleasing psalms are an accessible way for me to connect with my benevolent creator. The inspired words express my thoughts and imprint their ideals upon my mind. The following is an easy translation of Psalm 16 from Stephen Mitchell:
Unnamable God, I feel you
With me at every moment.
You are my food, my drink,
My sunlight, and the air I breathe.
You are the ground I have built on
And the beauty that rejoices my heart.
I give thanks to you at all times
For lifting me from my confusion,
And showing me the path of life.
Teach me how powerful your love is
And how insubstantial my fears.
I rest in your perfect love.
In your presence there is fullness of joy
And blessedness forever and ever.
Rock me to sleep in the dark
And let me, when I awaken,
See nothing but the light of your face.
by admin | Apr 8, 2019 | Lifted Prayers
The expressive poetry of the Psalms is as relevant in my life as they were in David’s life many centuries ago. I make a few changes to the translation from the Hebrew that Stephen Mitchell published as “A Book of Psalms” so reflect my sentiments. Here’s my version of Psalm 13:
Light up my eyes with your presence;
Let me feel your love in my bones.
Keep me from losing myself
in ignorance and despair.
Teach me to be patient, Lord;
Teach me to be endlessly patient.
Let me trust that your love enfolds me
When my heart feels desolate and dry.
I will sing to the Lord at all times,
Even from the depth of pain.
by admin | Apr 8, 2019 | Lifted Prayers
A psalm is a song and a prayer at the same time. The language is beautiful and the emotion is raw and intense. The following is my rendition of Psalm 4. I started from Stephen Mitchell’s translation in “A Book of Psalms” which is available in the used book market.
Even in the midst of great pain, Lord,
I praise you for that which is.
I will not refuse this grief
or close myself to this anguish.
I pray for whatever you send me,
and I ask to receive it as your gift.
You have put a joy in my heart
greater than all the world’s riches.
I lie down trusting the darkness,
for I know that even now you are here.
