by Design Services Admin | May 30, 2017 | Fear
A commitment requires faith in oneself. It requires believing that it already is so. I try to get there by feeling the feelings that I would have if the state I am committed to bringing into reality is so and planting them in my mind just before I go to sleep. The light goes out, I smile with gratitude for the goodness in my life, acknowledge that the joy and love in my life are not my doing, but a gift of the work I’ve done so far on letting go of the reigns and relaxing into the universe’s embrace. Then I repeat with as much concentration as I can muster, “I am calm. I am contented. I am comfortable. I am complete.” I feel the feeling of those states of mind. I believe. Many times I repeat it two or three times before I have focused in on the goal of the exercise. To embody the feelings, make them real for me. I am not always calm, contented or comfortable during my day, but I am much more so for longer and longer periods of times than I ever have been before. Planting the belief in my mind allows it to grow.
by Design Services Admin | Jun 30, 2016 | Letting Go
My puppies have a lot to teach me when I am paying attention. They are always grateful, don’t hold on to resentments or anger, and give love without expectations. I would do well to emulate them. If I am honest, I have expectations of the people I love and those I show kindness. I expect them to think well of me and to return respect and warmth. When I perceive that my expectations have not been met, my feelings are hurt. I need to be reminded that nothing anyone else does, says or thinks is about me—it is about them. Everyone has his own perception of the world and they are the center. I cannot see what fears are driving the person who has hurt my feelings, but I can decide not to take it personally. I can decide to let it go, just like my puppies do when they’re reprimanded. They record the behavior that led to the reprimand, if they can place it, and quickly discard any negativity. They go forward without dwelling on the past. If I can do that, I’ll save a lot of energy that otherwise is spent trying to rid myself of uncomfortable feelings of insecurity or unworthiness that swell up when I harbor feelings of ill will. It will save the time spent in trying to figure out how to make a person like me. What might I do with that time and energy?
by Design Services Admin | Jun 29, 2016 | Acceptance
My colleagues all agree on the shortcomings of our boss, saying it cannot go on and her treachery will surely bring about her downfall. I indulge in negativity about how tedious our work has become and how useless to our customers in the new regime. I can’t seem to let it go and let go of my need to find satisfaction in my work. Away from work, I think I’ve overcome the bitter frustration, but it comes right back in the right company and I find myself tearing down my fear-driven boss who lacks self-confidence and respect for the people who work for her. I behave in a way that I’m not proud of, feeling self-righteous and hopeful that the bad karma she puts out will boomerang back to her. It doesn’t feel good and I think about myself. What kind of karma am I putting out? Just because my colleagues all suffer her oppressive, fear-mongering management doesn’t mean I need to stoke the fires there. I can use the opportunity to practice letting go of things not my control and pass. Obviously, I need to work on that area. I clearly am not as self-aware as I think I am. I’ve come so far, but I have so far to go!
by Design Services Admin | Jun 29, 2016 | Positivity
A gentleman I see and speak to at the pool learned that I’d kept a sailboat some years ago and mentioned that he’d written a memoir of his early sailing days. He was good enough to send me a copy of it. It’s remarkable how perspective changes as we grow. There as no teenage angst in his story, but undoubtedly he had it just like all adolescents. No, his memories are of admirable men, competitive yacht racing, good friends and innocent girls. How nice it is to look back and remember only what we want to remember. Of course, we have that choice all the time, to selectively engage in our minds. I can focus on the positive and the blessings showered on me every moment. I can also indulge in self-pity and wallow in the negative. Why do I choose to entertain negative feelings and thoughts? Is it a habit, conditioning or my insecurities? I don’t need to know why. I just need to see my tendency so that I can begin to change it consciously. I can start right now.
by Design Services Admin | Jun 29, 2016 | Fear
I am grateful for my journey, I am awed at the perfection of the events that have brought me to today, for all I have learned and that I have learned to share honestly. I hadn’t seen much of my friend for a few months. The holidays got in the way and her workout routine changed so that we were no longer at the gym’s mirror at the same time. We finally met for supper and I learned that she had started binging again and then been stricken with an immobilizing depression that had her crying for hours and in bed many days. I was able to share my own eating disorder with honesty and my experience and hope felt useful as we both felt less alone in the battle against compulsive eating and the cycle of self-loathing and self-punishment that overeating represents. Recognizing the fear at the bottom of the behaviors helps to begin the healing. Admitting we need help from outside, that we’ve been continuously unsuccessful with everything we’ve tried is the start of making true progress. Spiritual growth doesn’t happen without the thorn to make us work. God’s plan for me is perfect.
