I’ve got nothing to do today but smile

I work to notice when I am talking negatively to myself. It is more insidious than I think. I practice recognizing it from tension and anxiety and then turning softer and gentler in self-criticism. I think that it is improving and then I have my subconscious mind show up in a dream in that time between initially waking up in the early, early morning and waking up to start my day an hour or so later. Those dreams are usually ones I can remember because of the time of sleep cycle and also because of the time of sleep cycle, they are very vivid. They show me the heaviness and thinking that lurks beyond the joy I try to cultivate in my waking hours. When I have an opportunity to consciously practice noticing and controlling the nature of the thoughts I’m entertaining, I tend to admonish myself for the ugliness of dissatisfied thoughts running around in my head. That’s how insidious it is. I realize, in my lucid moments, that I cannot fix it without surrendering control and letting Divine Me work within the Universe to replace fear with love and truth. I am making progress, slow but sure.