I was watching a drama set at the turn of the century in the northwest frontier. The schoolteacher was trying to manage a bully in her classroom. She told the boy who’d been pushed around that a bully is actually a frightened soul who doesn’t think much of himself and tries to take it out on others.
I thought of my boss. I know she has low self-esteem. It’s why she can’t care for anyone, can’t be genuine. She is afraid that people might see what she sees in herself. The tight grip on her image is top priority. It is a tough place to be.
Still, understanding that she is unhappy and stuck in her personal reality without authentic relationships or trust doesn’t make me less resentful when she belittles me. I shouldn’t still give her slights and barbs the time of day, yet they still sting. When I think of how little thought I will give her or the waste that has become my work when I am finished with this job, I know that this situation doesn’t matter. It is an opportunity for me to accept everyone as a child of God. It provides practice in remembering that everyone is doing the best she can. That I am as everyone else, but I can help the atmosphere of my workplace by bringing my love to it and letting go of the behavior of other people towards me. I am not responsible for what others think of me. I am responsible for what I think—of them and of me.