by admin | Jan 2, 2020 | Using our Toolbox
I set reminder alarms on my Versa today to stop and take note of where my thinking is and offer a prayer to remain in the presence of God about every 1.5 hours in the workday morning or three times each day. Remaining in God’s presence requires remaining in the current moment. God cannot be in the past or the future. Hopefully, I will be successful in spending more time in the present. That is the goal.
Already I think I am better at staying in the present when I am swimming. It is a time period I can fall into negativity, regurgitation of past wrongs or fears of what might happen or fantasize about retribution for perceived wrongs done to me. It is a time in my day that I am not required to entertain purposeful thoughts as I am at work; therefore, I often let my mind drift where it will to my detriment. One of Eknath Easwaran’s 8 points is learning to focus my attention purposefully, so I have been engaged in that activity during my swim time and have noted some results.
The plan is to extend the focus in the present to my workday, but with not too heavy a hand. Thus the reminders at 1.5 hours three times a day to stop, note my thoughts and pause to pray for what I want. Don’t you have to ask for what you want in order to get it? It is my hope that I can non-judgmentally notice my thoughts and purposefully change them three times during my workday.
by admin | Oct 28, 2019 | Using our Toolbox
Many times I have heard, “just take a deep breath,” when I’m anxious. It is good advice. Usually, though, I have to get pretty anxious and uncomfortable before I actually pause to do it. I also need more than one deep breath, and I need to put my hand on my heart to feel the hard beating in order to start to moderate the intensity.
What helps the most, though, is when I smile as I’m taking a deep breath. Closing my eyes, I breathe deeply and very slowly, smiling in my mind and smiling outwardly. A smile brings my gratitude back to the fore, and I feel my blessings.
by admin | Sep 4, 2019 | Using our Toolbox
Eleanor Roosevelt’s quip, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” is a truism I return to again and again. I still need reminding because the insidious self-doubt comes up when I perceive that I’m being treated without respect for my value as a skilled and stalwart employee with many years’ experience.
Intellectually I know that it is her own insecurity that causes my boss to undermine me and speak to me in a demeaning manner. Acting superior may make her feel superior and boost her ego. She provides a recurring lesson for me to detach from her comments and acknowledge that I want her acceptance and appreciation as a boss.
I have to remind myself that it is natural to want appreciation from my boss and to practice compassion for the suffering I feel. Finally, I have to realize that whatever her perception of me, whether it is what I suppose it to be or something entirely different, I have great value as a creative individual with skill, talent and energy that I need to unleash in another direction.
My goal is to train my mind to let go of connection with my work and silently do as I am told with regard for waste. I need to channel my creativity towards other endeavors–cooking, gardening, reading and learning, and this blog. I must separate my workaday self, who wants to stay in the job for 3 more years, from the beauty and joy of my relationships with people outside of work.
by admin | Jun 18, 2019 | Using our Toolbox
I am trying to look at my experience at work as useful suffering–valuable because suffering generates compassion. I’ve been miserly with compassion in this work situation, both self-compassion and compassion for the boss who has oppressed me.
It makes sense that if I sit with my suffering and feel it fully, its grip will eventually loosen and the divine spirit within me will respond with compassion for me and for those who are the cause of my distress. For a few years, I have experienced the suffering of anxiety and fear that my work situation creates in me, yet it remains present. My guess is that I haven’t truly embraced the suffering and deliberately let the fear and anxiety flow in my body. Instead, I berate myself for failing to accept the situation as it is and let go of the need for any return other than a paycheck from my current career. So far, many months of diligent work on acceptance, letting go of my ego’s thoughts, and praying for my boss’ happiness and peace has not provided the relief I expected, and maybe that’s because I lack compassion for my suffering.
Tara Brock suggests the prayer “May this suffering awaken compassion.” With constancy and focus, I can learn what it means to sit with the grief and fear that my work situation engenders and awaken the compassion in my soul for my human emotions and for my boss’ human emotions. I will begin with “May I be willing to learn how to embrace my pain as a means of spiritual progress.” Patience and adherence to the middle road will be important in this endeavor, but I am confident that acknowledging the deep hurt I feel will nurture tender thoughts, self-compassion, and compassion for my fellow journeyers.
by damsel | Apr 8, 2019 | Using our Toolbox
One of the tools I have found useful when in a period of intense stress is to concentrate on memorizing someone else’s prayer for my use. Stephen Mitchell’s Psalm translations are pure poetry, deeply emotional prayers that are better than anything I would come up with myself! I change the spalms to suit my purpose, leaving out things I don’t want and adjusting language for my personal use. The poetry is beautiful and although they were published in the bible, I find them more universal than Christianity.
I use memorization to challenge my mind to focus on something other than the current source of stress and I use recitation of the memorized prayers in the same way. This is one of my favorites. I haven’t used it in many months, so I need to commit it to memory again.
Even in the midst of great pain, Lord,
I praise you for that which is.
I will not refuse this grief
or close myself to this anguish.
I pray for whatever you send me,
and I ask to receive it as your gift.
You have put a joy in my heart
greater than all the world’s riches.
I lie down trusting the darkness,
for I know that even now you are here.
by admin | Apr 4, 2019 | Using our Toolbox
How many times have I thought that if I’d only paused for a moment, I wouldn’t have had to apologize! When I am agitated or doubtful, I often react using behaviors that do not serve me well. Sometimes I prepare for a situation that I expect may be anxiety-provoking with prayer and affirmations. Instead of rehearsing what I will say, anticipating how the encounter will go, worrying about how it could go while imagining how I will come out on top, I can push the pause button. I can breathe in and see my fear is at the bottom of my tiresome planning ritual. Hitting the pause button brings me back to the present from the future.
When I pause, I can turn my mind towards accepting that I do not control the outcome. My expectations of how the encounter will go are almost never reflective of the eventual reality. My anxious anticipation drains my energy, fogs my focus and is otherwise a waste of time! Once I remember that I am child of God and whatever the outcome, I will be OK, I can let go of my hopes and expectations and relax into faith that all is well. All IS well. Actually ALL of the time all is well when I stay in the present moment and forgo trying to control the future.
