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I’m grateful I can make changes

I’m grateful I can make changes

That a focus on gratitude makes it difficult to obsess about minor difficulties.
for the lightness of heart when it is filled with a feeling of gratitude.
that avoidance of being hungry, angry, lonely or tired makes it easier to stay in awareness of self-abusive tendencies.
awareness of the problem goes a long way towards repairing it – I’m grateful I can make changes
“Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom” is a very good way to think of how I need to practice self-awareness.
That my freedom is not threatened at this moment.
I can get relief from stultifying mind trips by letting go of them.
With practice and eternal vigilance, my threshold for pain before letting go gets lower.

I did not binge today

I did not binge today

Today I am grateful that I did not have to get up early but I did anyway
enjoying the peacefulness of the early morning, listening to birds, Tom snoring, watching Diva clean herself (what is it with cats anyway?), reading emails.
long, hot baths with a good book.
not having to go to work today.
I did not binge today.
realizing that the space I am in my head is not reality and it will pass…i.e. feeling that I have no friends and that people don’t really like being around me…this is all shame stuff from when I was little and it has decided to rear its ugly head again…
knowing that I haven’t done everything I can to get out of this funk…actually, I have been wallowing a bit…I haven’t shared it with this community, haven’t been praying, etc
trying to love my body even though I feel fat and pale and all my deformities are glaring at me in the mirror…

For “ah-ha” moments

For “ah-ha” moments

1. mantras that bring things back into perspective, “ah-ha” moments and knowing that things will happen when the time is right.
2. having the patience to wait for the right time
3. my husband, when I can relax and enjoy him
4. the blissful dead-tired feeling that comes from having physically labored all day
5. the anticipation of collapsing into bed for a well-deserved night’s rest
6. clean windows
7. the “before and after”
8. green, flora and fauna in a million different shades

For people who make me smile

For people who make me smile

Grateful for:
1. for my homemade expresso/whipping cream iced drink
2. for living in the moment when I can do it
3. for all that I love about my husband
4. that I can see the good in him even as I am angry with him
5. for the lightening of the burden that happens when I share it
6. for Carol for insisting that I share when I don’t feel the need to
7. that I feel fine most of the time, even while I am struggling
8. that so many things make me smile when I’m paying attention
9. for my puppy, Harry, who makes me smile every day just by being himself.
10. for all the opportunities for discovery and growth that God provides for me.
11. for the great break a gratitude list provides when the juices aren’t quite flowing.

The tree outside my bathroom window

The tree outside my bathroom window

I’m Grateful for:

1. Coffee with my bunky this morning at Starbucks. A better way to start the day than snoozing through the alarm for an hour and racing to work
2. giving myself a break for not working as much as I should this week. some weeks I work more, some less. rain-induced inertia and boredom.
3. workouts with a friend, time to connect, how good my body feels, and how much less space my body takes up in my head
4. the tree outside my bathroom window. First, it had purple flowers, then huge broad heart-shaped bright green leaves, and also little seedpods hanging for the branches. In the pacific northwest, the trees only have leaves for the most part. All this embellishment is cool.
5. The Tom Stoppard play ‘Arcadia’ that I just read. very clever.
6. I get to have a slumber party with my favorite person every night.
7. knowing that when someone is in a bad mood, she will feel better soon. it’s only a matter of time. I know this from years of experience–it always passes. always.

Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom

Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom

What I’m grateful for:

1) Hearing stones Roses “I wanna be adored” (to which I shouted out “Hell yeah”), Pearl Jam’s “Black” (I know that’s super un-cool, but lets hear it for ’92!), and Hearts’ “Barracuda” (oohch-a) all on the way to work, assuring that it just may be a good day despite the rain.

2) The insanely well-timed package of candy from a lunatic in London. I should say this has so far been the highlight of my week.

3) My super bitchin’ new friend who has made me fear new people less.

4) That I don’t have to make money as a photographer anymore and I can say no to photo jobs and actually stand a chance of enjoying making art again.

5) Even though my Mom is coming to town this weekend, I have a plan and prayers in place to center me so I can get through it.

6) Watching Molly poop this morning- she is so cute the way she rounds into a ball that I always want to pet her while she poops (which annoys her so I don’t).

7) That I don’t have to poop in the rain.

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