by admin | Feb 19, 2020 | Gratitude List
I need a gratitude list today, because another dreary day leaves me less than enthusiastic about anything. Here goes:
- I have a warm and loving relationship that is easy and feeds my soul
- I have a best friend who lets me be my ugly me and still loves me.
- I have a job that pays me well
- I am working on a pension
- I have shitake mushroom spawn to inoculate a tree when the weather improves
- My puppies are healthy and happy
- My family members and I are all pretty healthy
- I got a good night’s sleep last night
- I have lunch plans with an old friend
- I know I have tools to change my attitude
by admin | Feb 18, 2020 | Letting Go
It isn’t difficult to fall victim to the lure of fatalism in the negative environment of our media outlets and sunless days of sameness in the bleak midwinter. I find myself languishing abed instead of exercising and looking forward to lying down each afternoon of my workweek. It feeds on itself, this apathy, and I must actively look for alternative thoughts to remain grateful and positive.
I found it this morning in the shower. Dr. Bronner’s Soap publishes the founder’s philosophy on the big bottle amongst the uses for the product and the company’s commitment to fair trade and sustainable sourcing. The latter two are trendy marketing techniques that a skeptic doesn’t usually believe, especially on a dreary day. Still, there is no doubting the sincerity of the old-fashioned words of a true believer on the soap-maker’s product. Reading it this morning, as I have on other occasions, I can’t escape the earnestness of this man’s call into the darkness of the modern world.
I know in my heart that he is right, that we are all one. We must cherish each other and all beings in our environment. This morning I was reminded of that when I needed to hear it—just as I am presented with what I need every single day when I am present and actively work on letting go of the reigns. It works.
by admin | Feb 14, 2020 | Acceptance
Is it possible to be free of fear? If so, what does it feel like? I think that I have been free of fear for moments at a time. I’ve at least felt contented, comfortable, safe, loving and peaceful. Fears erode all of those freedoms, the freedom to feel satisfied with what is, peaceful and worthy. When I pray for freedom from particular fear-based thoughts, I believe that I am willing to let go of that fear. On closer examination, I sometimes glimpse that while I am willing to be rid of a fear, I am not willing to accept my human experience of uncomfortable emotions and look at the underlying cause.
I have not accepted the painful feelings of betrayal in a friendship that ended abruptly when a close friend lied about me to protect herself. I play retribution scenarios in my head, wanting to hurt her back, but knowing that it won’t help. I just want her to hurt as I do and I don’t want to hurt anymore. I really want to get to neutral about it, yet I pray to develop loving kindness thoughts about her, to rise above it and be unconcerned what anyone else thinks. I want to escape the fear, not discover the reasons for it and feel the feelings.
by admin | Feb 10, 2020 | Acceptance
A body in motion remains in motion while a body at rest remains at rest until acted upon by an external force. Isn’t that how it goes? How do I avail myself of the external force required to get my morning exercise program back on track? I am close to 3 weeks without any right now. It feels like the new norm to sleep in on workdays and go to work without exercise. At the close of the workday, I feel unenthused about doing anything other than crawling under the covers and remaining motionless while watching TV, reading or just lounging. This is not what I want. It leads to apathy about other things in my life, too.
It’s really worse than that, though. Each day I plan to get up and work out and each day I find it easy to say, “what’s another day.” I am listless and uncaring that I’m not accomplishing the things I plan for my day. At work, I long for the day to end so I can go home and go to bed early. I look forward to Friday when I don’t have to get up the next morning. It is a pitiful existence.
This is an illustration of one of the 7 deadly sins: Sloth. It is a great word, sloth. It words sounds expressive of its meaning.
I have got to break the cycle. I do know what to do about it. I need to pray for willingness.
by admin | Jan 20, 2020 | Fear
Fear can control me if I let it. I repress from my memory things my mind doesn’t want to think about, face, or deal with, but they are still there. My ego doesn’t want me to examine myself, my mistakes and missteps. My ego is deeply invested in my continuing in fear and self-reliance instead of acknowledging my divine nature and the inherent innocence and goodness of all creation.
When I step back from a situation and my perceptions of people and relationships, I can see my part in my struggles. I can see that I refuse to accept what is, choosing instead to ruminate about how they are not right. It is the reason for all of my struggles, failure to accept. Why on earth would I choose to dwell on how things should be when I have no control? Even forgetting that I cannot change things, why do I struggle against what is, when I know with certainty that my creator loves me and wants me to relax and be happy?
