When I do things that get me in trouble or cause friction in a relationship, I try to apologize as soon as I can and make note of the circumstances that brought out the behavior. Particularly I have to figure out what fear is at the base of the behavior and look at myself with the same compassion I have for a loved one. Then, I have to let go of the need to punish myself for once again behaving counter to my desires and best interests and re-start from a neutral position. If I can identify the fear, I have a better chance of recognizing it when it comes up the next time and responding differently when it does. I have my share of foibles just as the next guy does and I deserve to be treated with gentleness when I fail to perform–just as I would treat my friends who need to try again, to start over.
Starting over
